


A pain written in the snow

by matsuba44



Series: a heart within the winter [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Derek Hale Feels, Derek Has Issues, Don't Judge Me, Forgive Me, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Not Ashamed, M/M, Oh My God, Pack Mother Stiles Stilinski, Sad Derek, Stiles Takes Care Of Derek, Stiles is Derek's Anchor, and i'm lost in this, i think there's too many i'm bad at tags, i'm bad at spelling, it's snowing, there's a relationship built here before i even knew it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 01:20:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matsuba44/pseuds/matsuba44
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek sits in the burnt out home of the hale manor.</p><p>Stiles goes to comfort Derek about his past decisions that led to Derek having a lonely winter without his family, his pack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A pain written in the snow

**Author's Note:**

> and.... i hate myself. This came from my head recently about Derek having a breakdown and Stiles going to comfort derek. I seriously hate myself. I'm just putting it as mature audience because i don't trust my hands on typing something appropriate for teenagers or children. Seriously, my hands type my fanfics o_o I think they're possessed or something.

Stiles resentfully walked up the steps to the Hale manor but, he figured NOBODY even Derek Hale should be alone on Christmas. It didn't help that his dad had to work for the other deputies to spend time with their families, Stiles smiled gently to himself before putting his features into his more sarcastic tone. If anything he loved that his dad spent time at the station for everyone else to spend time with their families but, there were some days where it was better for them to have a holiday with each other instead of them both spending it alone. Stiles shook his head out of the thought train he was having and made his way up the steps to the Hale manor, figuring it was better to knock than to just open the door he knock and waited. After a few seconds of standing in the cold, he knock again this time louder. Stiles knew Derek was here because he went to loft first which was EMPTY. Literally everything was cleared out and it was EMPTY. Stiles knocked a third time before giving up and just opening the door himself finding it unlocked, the first thing he smelt was a harsh scent of dried blood.

His senses were screaming at him to run and not look back, Stiles just bared it as he walked through the house to where he assumed was a bedroom. Empty but it looked like it was recently cleaned out, like Derek was doing house cleaning then he decided against doing anymore. Stiles continued his track around the house before he noticed a crumble of clothes in a corner, his senses were screaming out at him with a red flag, a bright dangerous red flag. He then noticed the bundle of clothing move and Stiles knew then and there that it was Derek, before Stiles could move Derek was lunging out as Derek pulled Stiles in with a shudder. "Please" Derek said to Stiles "Stay." That was all it took for Stiles to break down his walls and stay with Derek in the cold house that was the Hale manor. Stiles could see the hurt and something more in Derek's face as he looked at the ground, unable to meet Stiles piercing and seeking gaze. Stiles waited patiently and quietly for Derek to say something, anything to him. It was only a matter of minutes before Derek crumbled knowing that Stiles wasn't leaving "I.. I tried to make it easier for me. To make myself forget what had happened to me and my family." A broken sound came from Derek as he looked out the window, Stiles rubbed Derek's back quietly as he looked at Derek. "I wanted to make it easier for everybody and be forgotten but, you... You, Stiles you came looking for me before i even had a chance to forget and... Change it all." Stiles looked away from Derek's face wanting not to face the broken features of Derek. He just kept rubbing Derek's back hoping it would soothe the wolf and give him a chance to explain what he was talking about. "I.. I wanted to die Stiles. Yet i can't.. Not without seeing you and leaving you behind Stiles." Derek started to cry as he held onto Stiles tightly but not tight enough to break Stiles' bones. After a couple of minutes or a half hour Stiles didn't really keep count, Derek stopped crying enough to look at Stiles still looking like a kicked puppy "you always take care of me and my pack. I can't say how much that means to me."

Stiles looked at Derek sheepishly "i just do what i can sourwolf." He said with a tight smile, Stiles patted Derek's shoulder gently "wanna go get something to eat?" Derek shook his head no as if he was a stubborn child "i wanna stay here with you." Stiles smiled a little less forceful "i meant together Derek." Derek looked shocked but nodded slightly as he said to Stiles in a whisper "okay.. Together." They walked down into the kitchen area as Stiles prepped a small dinner, after he finished making dinner they sat in the not so broken down anymore living room in the hale manor which made Stiles wonder how long Derek has actually been living out here in secret. Derek looked away from Stiles to the snow falling outside as he spoke "it started around winter. I fell for Kate, she seduced me around that time and i lost my family a few days before Christmas eve." Derek said with a sad sigh of resentment. Stiles wanted to say something but, chose not to interrupt and had let Derek flush it out of his system. "Erica died around this time too, i know Stiles before you say anything that Boyd has not once blamed me for her death but, it is my fault. I was the reason that she got caught and it was my fault for not getting to her in time." Stiles shook his head no as he said to Derek "no, it's not your fault that we didn't get to her in time. It was the enemy's fault, they were the cause and they are also the cause of her death. Not you, just like it was Kate's fault for killing your family Derek which again NOT your fault." Stiles said stubbornly to Derek. "So don't blame yourself sourwolf, and Boyd doesn't blame you. You shouldn't try and off yourself when you do have people that care for you Derek." Stiles said as he brushed the back of his hand against Derek's cheek making Derek lean into the touch. "It's not easy being around death so don't think it affects just you sourwolf."

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think i'm gonna make another piece to this but i might. I just don't know for sure o_o I don't like writing angst and i swear i don't mean to BUT, BUT IT JUST HAPPENS!! (/'o')/ ARGH!! I WANT TO CONTINUE THIS BUT I'M STUCK RIGHT NOW!! It's official i'm making it a short series right now >:U but it's not gonna get updated for right now. I have other THINGS to update first


End file.
